The Alignment Audit: A Different Approach to Year-End Planning

Every December, as the year winds down and people begin taking stock of their lives, millions of us do the same thing: we make resolutions.  We set new goals. We reflect on the lives we are living.  And according to research I recently came across from MD Anderson, the pattern is remarkably consistent:

• 38.5% of U.S. adults make resolutions

• 23% abandon them in the first week

• Only 9% keep them

If you’ve ever wondered why change feels so hard, you’re not alone.  But the truth is this: most resolutions don’t fail because of a lack of discipline. They fail because many of them were never aligned with our pure intentions (stripping out the weight of others’ expectations and returning to our true purpose), and even well-chosen goals often aren’t developed in a way that motivates the parts of us that drive real behavioral change. To succeed, our resolutions must be shaped in a way that engages the systems that guide our daily behavior, creating the internal alignment required to carry the goal forward.

First, we must recognize that we have two distinct modes of thought: our Instinctual Self and our Thoughtful Self.  The Instinctual Self is the fast, emotional, reflexive part of the brain that drives most of our daily behavior.  It doesn’t respond to logic or willpower alone—it responds to emotion, meaning, familiarity, and cues related to safety and routine.  It relies heavily on past experiences when making quick decisions in our life.

The challenge is that goals that disrupt our embedded routines require more explanation than we tend to give, because we rarely treat personal goal-setting as an alignment problem—though that’s exactly how we would approach a goal involving other people or a group.  Properly framing a goal for our Instinctual Self demands a deeper dive into why the goal matters, how it benefits me, and how it supports or affects the people who matter most to me.  When a goal doesn’t resonate at this emotional level, the Instinctual Self simply resists—quietly, automatically, and often without our awareness.

It’s the employee who nods politely in the company meeting while thinking, “That’s never going to happen…”  The objective may make perfect sense to our Thoughtful Self, but if it fails to convince or motivate the Instinctual Self—the part of us actually driving most of our decisions—it’s dead on arrival.

Returning to the second mode of thought, our Thoughtful Self is the part of us capable of strategy, reflection, and long-range planning.  It’s where our goals take shape, and where the executive function of the mind operates in service of what we are looking to accomplish.  To be effective, though, the Thoughtful Self must do more than announce a goal; it must build a case for it—detailing why the goal matters, who it benefits, and how we intend to achieve it.  Only then can it truly motivate and earn the cooperation of our Instinctual Self.

This same dynamic plays out in leadership.  When an organizational leader introduces a new objective, success depends on how well the purpose is communicated and how clearly each stakeholder understands the benefits.  When people grasp the reasoning and feel connected to the mission, the organization is far more likely to succeed.  The same principle applies internally: our Thoughtful Self may set the direction, but without buy-in from our Instinctual Self—the emotional, fast-acting system that drives most of our daily behavior—even well-crafted goals struggle to take root.

And that’s the heart of the issue as we sit down in December and write our goals. We often fail to create the necessary alignment between our two modes of thought—our Thoughtful Self and our Instinctual Self.

How to Make Resolutions Stick

As discussed above, most resolutions fail not because they’re unworthy, but because we choose them too quickly and support them too lightly, failing to develop them in a way that sufficiently motivates our key internal stakeholders.  We also choose goals based on the current trajectory of our lives—often doubling down on areas of ongoing effort or success—without first asking whether that trajectory is one we actually want to continue.

To help make our goals and resolutions stick this year, consider the following suggestions:

1. Begin with earnest self-reflection before jumping into specific goals or resolutions. Assess the current trajectory of your life with a “state of the union”-type written reflection (with you as the union in this case). What are the major themes?  What’s working and what needs work?  Simply reflect on what happened this year—choosing the areas of your life that are most important to reflect on, e.g., relationships with friends/family, professional, health/fitness, financial, faith, etc.  These should represent the areas that matter most to you.

   
   

2. Re-read your completed State of the Union reflection.   What do you notice and what stands out?  We often write from the perspective of both our Instinctual Self and our Thoughtful Self, but we read and process primarily from the Thoughtful Self.  This dynamic drives meaningful insights and can help shape the focus of our resulting goals or resolutions.

   
   

3. Now, as you move forward with goal setting, try to choose goals that truly belong to you—using the written reflection as a guide.  Start to strip away goals driven by habit, routine, or momentum (another achievement in a long list of achievements), or by other people’s expectations of you.  What do you really need to focus on?  Begin with what feels most important and most honest.

   
   

4. We must prepare our internal system for any changes the goal requires, which means we must be compelling to our internal stakeholders.  That means enlisting both our Thoughtful and Instinctual Selves, aligning the emotional benefits, the environmental cues, the people involved, and the practical strategies that support repetition.  Any goal or resolution should be clearly stated (specific, measurable, and time-bound).  From there:

a.      Visualize the benefits to you and to others, then list them.

b.     Identify the places that are goal-positive and goal-negative. In other words, which places, routines, and contexts help—and which consistently hurt your progress?

c.      Identify the people that are goal-positive and goal-negative. Who encourages and supports this change, and who (often unintentionally) pulls you back toward old patterns?

d.     Lastly, turn your Thoughtful Self loose to detail the tactics and strategies that will be most effective in realizing your goal. This serves as the plan for execution, but it will benefit dramatically from the exercises above.

5. And finally, consider sharing your State of the Union and resulting goals with a trusted friend, family member, or colleague. Doing so not only creates accountability but may also surface valuable insights, perspectives, or strategies that strengthen your chances of success.

Closing Thought: Alignment Is the Real Resolution

It’s rarely the resolution that makes the difference.  It’s the alignment behind it that carries us forward. When we create that alignment, new behaviors begin to embed themselves into our routines, and those routines—over time—are what actually propel us toward our goals.  The good news is that once a routine is established, it carries a “set-it-and-forget-it” quality. It persists on its own.

Dr. Wendy Wood, author of Good Habits, Bad Habits―The Science of Making Positive Changes that Stick, observes that we often mistake an established habit for willpower or discipline.  This is known as the introspection illusion.  When we understand this phenomenon, we can intentionally create habits that serve our goals—using both habit and environment to shape our outcomes rather than relying on discipline alone.

And this is where alignment and pure intentions come full circle: when habits serve the right goals, momentum becomes natural, and change becomes sustainable.

Here’s to an aligned, intentional, deeply meaningful 2026.